The Happiness Project

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote that I would provide a book report of sorts on The Happiness Project.  Well, I've completed reading the book, and while it isn't exactly my kind of book (or, for that matter, my kind of project), there were some worthwhile tidbits in it that I'd like to share.  

The author, Gretchen Rubin, is far too anal for me.  She spent a year trying to be happier by assigning a topic each month to work on. For example, one of her resolutions during one month was to make three new friends.  I had to wonder what kind of friendship you can create when making friends is simply something on your to-do list to be checked off.  She even broke down "fun" into three separate categories. Hey, it's not "fun" if you have to categorize it.  The author has a "Resolutions Chart" where she gives herself check marks or stars if she follows through on her resolutions. She has "12 Commandments" as well as "Secrets of Adulthood" that she uses as the basis for her project.  

While this attempt at happiness is way too structured for me, I did think that there was some worthwhile information in the book - not rocket science and maybe things that I already knew, but sometimes it's good to see it in writing.   Some of her 12 Commandments resonated with me, such as "Be Gretchen" (or, in my case, Be Judi); "Let it go";  "Act the way I want to feel"; "Enjoy the process".   Her "Secrets of Adulthood" ranged from "Do good, feel good" to such things as "Bring a sweater".

So the basic premise of the book is to try to create the optimum atmosphere for happiness by tackling topics such as vitality (exercise better and get more sleep) to relationships (marriage, parenthood, friendship) to mindfulness (be more in the moment as you go about your busy life).  There is some merit in taking time to consider how we react to our environment and the people around us.  Rubin discusses studies that show "emotional contagion" where we unconsciously catch emotions from other people - both good and bad moods.  We all know that to be true, but maybe being a little more aware of this will help us avoid the bad and emphasize the good.

One of the most interesting (to me) topics mentioned in the book is that for both men and women, "the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women. Time spent with men doesn't make a difference."   So that's why I value my lady friends so much.  Aha!

I did identify with some of her suggestions, like find more fun, take time to be silly, enjoy now, be grateful, fake it till you feel it, and laugh out loud.  The book encouraged me to continue my own mood makeover in my own way, trying always to be more in the moment, lighter and, well, just plain old happier.  And to never, not for a second, forget how grateful I am.

Postscript to Post:  We take off for 10 days on Friday to Scotland for a vacation and, at the end, a wedding in a castle.  Stay tuned for photos posted here in mid-September. My goal for today is to fit everything I'm packing in one carry-on.  Ah, true happiness if I'm successful.

How I've Spent My Summer

I'm feeling guilty that I've neglected my blog for so long.  The purpose of the blog from the beginning was to keep in touch with friends and let them know what I'm doing and thinking, in the hope that I would consequently hear from them as well, as I often do. So I feel obligated to tell you that I haven't done a whole lot since I last wrote here but I want to say hello anyway.

It's been a hotter summer in Denver than I would have guessed.  Most days, it's in the mid-90s and that's been a surprise to me.  The evenings and mornings are cooler, and the air is dry, but it's still pretty darn hot.  So I've spent a lot of time in my apartment, not being super-productive.  I've read a lot and wasted an incredible amount of time looking out the window.  Except for our short stint on 83rd Street in NYC, where I watched incredulously as otherwise normal looking people would pee right in front of our building, I haven't really lived anywhere before where there is so much to look at. We have the long view of the Front Range that's pretty, but not as fascinating as watching people close up as they go about their day to day lives.  Added to this mix is a hotel being built across the street.  It's part of a school for hotel administration, and we've watched its progress since they started digging a hole there in January.  So, while  I'm not proud of this, I get high marks in time wasting as I gaze out on Denver.

I do leave the apartment occasionally - I've been going to my trainer a/k/a Killer regularly two times a week, and I've been volunteering at a women's day shelter tutoring for the GED.  

But I digress.  What I really wanted to write about today was a revelation that I had a few weeks ago.  I realized that I had a sizable chip on my shoulder as a result of leaving my nice life in Atlanta and being dropped in a new place.  Anyone that knows me well has probably heard me say "you have to like where you are because that's where you are."  Alas, I was not practicing what I preached.  This called for drastic measures, and I prescribed a mood makeover for myself.

The mood makeover is still in progress but seems to be moving along at a good pace. I just started being nicer, smiling more and generally trying to be happier. I was surprised by how easy this actually was.  Of course, there are setbacks when my car wouldn't start, the stock market crashed and then crashed again and then crashed yet again, or when there was a leak in the apartment below us and three holes had to be cut into our bedroom wall to find and repair the leak coming from above.  Hey, I'm only human;  I can't be in a good mood all of the time.

It's no coincidence that after I was well into the mood makeover, I started reading a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  I haven't gotten far enough into the book to be able to pass judgment on whether it is worthwhile or not.  I promise to write a book report of sorts here when I've completed the book.  But I am interested in the idea of actively trying to be happier and whether it works.  After all, isn't being happy everyone's goal?  Isn't that what we say we want for our children and those we love?  And if there's a way to boost my personal happiness quotient, then I definitely want to do that.  The author quotes Aristotle:  "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence."  Can I argue with Aristotle?  Definitely not.

So I will report back soon on this book and my own happiness project.  In the meantime, don't worry - be happy.